There's lots of things little girls learn about sex and sexuality
From the time you're 3 and you're discouraged for being nude.
We start running around the house naked,
Strutting nudist in high heels and a purse.
At 4 we rub our genitals on couch corners,
Like little humping dogs on stuffed animals.
Growing up you're discovering your body
Like scratching and sniffing our butts.
While you're still playing with Barbies,
You make them kiss and hump.
When you watch how your mom and dad kiss one another,
You start experimenting on others.
One example is when you're sleeping over at a friend's houses
And you start testing the boundaries with one another.
As you lay side by side as their parents are in the other room,
You pretend like you’re sleeping but you’re kissing your best friend!
At 8, girls have slumber parties,
And every girl shows their little boobies to everyone in the circle.
Friends take baths together comparing bodies,
Commenting on our breast sizes and pubic hair.
Us girls are constantly learning new info on our bodies with one another,
And talking about our development like we're conducting research.
You learn about sex through twisted understandings from older girls
And older friends teaching you about periods and sex
Because your mother would not or did not give you 'the talk.'
She didn’t even tell you anything about a period,
Nor did you learn you could pee with your tampon in until you’re in college!
You learn about sex from late night Cinemax
When your dad would pass out with the channel on all night.
You sit and watch the TV brightly lit in the dark,
Peeking at the display of sex from the corner of the room.
At age 9, you're exposed to sex scenes that reflect fantasies into
At age 11, you learn about sex through Ludacris' "What's your
But although you would rap along to the lyrics,
You're still not sure what all these metaphors are referring to!
At 13 and 14 you're with someone ‘outside’ of your ‘race’
And he is your first kiss and first time cyber sexting.
Then your teachers and peers are asking ‘why are you with him?’
EVEN THOUGH THEY NEVER ASK THIS ABOUT ANY OTHER PERSON.
We move on, where high school is new and thrilling
Because we have our first real adult relationships with people.
You sneak out of your bed room window
To hang out with the boy next door at 1 in the morning.
Y’all kiss in the grass after a moon light stroll,
Then he shows you what he’s packing in his step dad’s car.
Then girls start swapping first sexual experiences with friends,
Remembering the exact day and hour we first had intercourse.
And then there’s the devastating break ups,
Followed by another relationship that also leads to a break up.
If you grew up in the early 2000s,
You notice a new way sex is presented within this techno age.
We engage and create sexual encounters within this evolution,
Exchanging nude photos through email for these boys to see.
Little do we realize it is a picture that could last forever
To be seen and shared among his friends when you broke up with him.
You hear later from several different friends
That he is handing these pictures out for others to see.
And now you're asking yourself:
WHO THE FUCK HAS SEEN MY 16-year-old PUSSY!?!
Almost 20 years has gone by in this techno age
So, kids don’t send nudes through email but through their phones.
With these phones, everything is more accessible,
Especially porn at your fingertips.
Because of the evolution of this face culture,
Sex is learned at an earlier age for all kids.
Kids ain’t learning about sex from school or their parents,
Kids learn about sex through a hyper masculine porn entity.
This plays on girls' insecurities which further serves to tell girls to be
Then girls accept early on that sex is not for their pleasure.
Simultaneously girls are told not be having sex,
So, boys are reinforced with the idea that they get to have sex
While girls become the sources of sexual entertainment.
Flirting with boys turns into flirting with girls,
And asking them ‘Have you ever kissed a girl before?’
You’re both 20 years old and drunk--
Hoping they want to kiss just as much as you.
Sex and sexuality isn’t cut-and-dry when we’re older
Because we realize that sex and sexuality are complex.
These are the things we don’t learn in school,
These aren’t the things we learn from parents or friends either.
This complicated conversation about sex and sexuality
Can only be determined for you alone.